June 25th 2008
Infringing on the Copyrights of my Friends
Roommate of the immediate future, Jim, posted an inspiring list of mantras he hopes to more accurately live by today. Save for the occasional Doctor Who reference, I think these points are well suited for most - namely creatives - as food for thought.
20 Fundamental Tenets to Change My Life
After reading Art & Fear by David Bayles and Ted Orland I had to apply what I’ve learned over the short course of reading. Many things are not quite fully operational so far in my life, and there’s a lot of work to be done to reach a mindset that I’ll be satisfied with. So I created a list. This list encompasses certain strategies and concepts that I’ll have to hammer into my head if I’ll ever get anywhere in my with art, and just anywhere in general. These concepts aren’t new, they are just an amalgamation of what has been collected these many years and the day I can follow all of them will be the day that I can truly be content with who I am. These are in no particular order, they are jumbled, I don’t care I came up with them as they hit my head.
So here they are:
1: You’re not awesome
No, no you are not. Quit thinking you are. You can become awesome, you can do awesome things, but that does not make you awesome. You have potential. That’s not the same as “being” awesome. Seeds have potential, they can grow into big trees and the like, but that’s not determined at the glorious seed state. One has to work at this growth, and unlike the seed, it won’t come naturally either (see #3).
2: If you’re truly willing to be who you wish, you can achieve #1
Let us omit external qualms and issues, these focal points are entirely of the mind. If you wish to improve your work, sitting around and not any with a smug self-satisfaction that you’re good enough won’t get you anywhere. It’ll hinder you, and you’ll hate yourself for it (someday). Also, this notion is possible for people to get the wind knocked out of their sails because they are so very “all or nothing”. This is the thought of a tosser. People can evolve, you can adapt, you can learn. Admitting this is the first step to unlocking whatever so called potential you think you may have deep down in that thick skull of yours.
3: You, nor anyone else, is not a “natural.” It’s not easy for them either!
Sure it may look like it, like some people have abilities that are better or more clever, more creative (bleh) than others, but that’s a load of shit. It assumes that a) both are on the same pace of development at any given time and b) both are after the inherit same goal. WRONG so wrong. Suck an egg on that shit. You can’t measure yourself to others, because you’re not them. Give up on this. It’s the same both ways to. This isn’t about them after all. Which leads me to…
4: This is about you, not about doing better than that guy/girl next to you
The day you get this out of your skull is the day you’ll be much happier. Art is an inherently selfish expression, you’ll never remove the self from art. Just get over this concept about others as well. You’ll never replicate their work, it’ll always be in your image. This isn’t a bad thing, because even if the two of you are after the same thing, prior experiences, perceptions, upbringings and so on will result in some sort of shift in interpretation. Besides, why copy others, you should be learning from them. (See #17)
5: Get Off the High Horse
What? You wouldn’t shit on a canvas, fuck hookers and incapacitate with your drug of choice? Fine. Those other folk probably don’t read about Stalingrad till they dream of nazis poking them in the eye (well some might). Who the fuck cares what they do. If its not impeding on your immediate or long term goals, why bother? Get jealous at others living a carefree life? Go fucking find out what they’re doing since you want that so bad! Stop imposing morals on others that don’t want to hear it. If they want to know what you think about fuck buddies they’ll ask trust me. Just make sure the answer is good or you’re in for a fight (see #18).
6: Turn Failure to Win
Can’t get a job? Fail at an exam? Didn’t get into that school you wanted? These are called learning experiences. Success does teach you a lot, but not as much as fucking shit up. Royally too. You’ll learn valuable lessons in the gutter, just try not to be a born again because of it (or just adhere to #5 k thx.) Don’t think you’re so awesome to be infallible to failure, because so far the list of people who have failed at something, even integral to who they are at least at one point. Einstein was such a fucking bum when he graduated, couldn’t get a job for shit. He utilized this to his advantage, and it prevented him from fostering an incestuous academic mindset that would have stifled his ingenuity. That can be you, ya bastard!
7: Learn to harness Bad & Good.
Liam Lynch is rather critical of serious artists who utilize their darkest hours for expression, because he sees something true about artists: they should be able to make no matter what their condition, otherwise why bother? He has a point: why create only in a certain mood, why use fear to block trying something else. Trial and error is great for us mortals, and we actually do have the time to do it. It’s better than masturbation, trust me. Seriously you’ll like it after a while.
8. Fuck. Self. Pity.
Oh poor you! Your life sucks, you can’t get yourself out of a paper bag. Woe is me. It’s okay to be mournful, sad, elated, and jealous at some points, but these are temporary impasses towards a more common mood. Lamenting on issues, be it serious or minor can result in some of the most pathetic self-serving bags of crack you’ll ever encounter. It’s ok to have emotion, but for the love of god don’t turn it into Steel Magnolias.
9. Kill Procrastination. Kill it with fire.
This is the big one. If there’s anything you can take from this post, take it here. Procrastination is a self-replicating egotistical snack built upon fear of failure and the ignorance to one’s own inability. You want to externalize your failures by blaming “time constraints” while getting vicarious victories out of pulling off a barely passable job in an obscenely short amount of time. Good job. You can work barely in a pinch. That’s about it though. What about the projects you have all the time in the world for? Oh, I’ll do them later. More like never. Ze frank said it best. This shit is brain crack, and if you keep putting off work you want to do because its not ready or good enough yet it just builds up in your head. You dream of the applause, the success, all the while you don’t get anything done. You fail to realize that the first time you’ll do something, it’ll invariably suck and this is all part of the learning process, not a stab at your ego as you think it is. Doing something bad three times is still three times more than the guy thinking of all the applause.
10. Yes, you have to prove yourself. Who the fuck are you?
The only person who gets a pass on this is the doctor. Everyone else has some explaining to do. This isn’t “Ah Real Monsters!” they can’t plug into your head and see your wonderful work. You have to make that jump from fantasy into reality, and there’s nothing but yourself stopping you at this point.
11. You actually have some (though limited) control of yourself! You’re not a slave to desire.
Oh I’m lazy! That’s how I am. Oh I’m a slut, oh well, I guess that’s ok. First of all this is ok if you think it is, but if deep down you’re not satisfied with yourself, then I’d say you might b e in the mood to change a few things. Lazy? Don’t like it? STOP THINKING. START DOING. You can control yourself. If you were really ultra lazy, to the point where you were truly genetically incapacitated, would you honestly go to the bathroom? You have to go get up, walk down the hall, sit for a bit, wipe your ass, all that process etc. IF you were really lazy you’d still be in diapers. This goes for people who don’t shower to: if you haven’t in a month at your own accord THEN you can be called lazy. Three days = meh.
12. Accept your limitations. Work around them. Failing that, consult #6
Sometimes though your best efforts can find you new triumphs, there are uncertainties in your ability that limit you. Rather than pulling a Hillary and push onward in the face of defeat, there are times when its necessary to bow gracefully and try a new approach. This is an essential to learning how to accept failure not as a limitation of self, but a limitation of ability. These works are your fullest extent, they are expressions of your acquired knowledge which you use your own intentions to spell out. In science, if the method of measure is not wide enough to permit expected data, technology will compensate in time. It is not the fault of the scientist that they don’t have the equipment. It’s not your fault either. Just accept the limitation, learn to adjust. See # 17.
13. There are many roads to the same destination.
Job prospects don’t pan out your way? Not the right friends you need, or the direction of your life is nowhere near your destination? Well join the rest of us, because you’re not alone. These are common inhibitions of many people, you’re not special or exclusive to such conflict. The bonus of this mutual misery is the fact that there are no clear paths to your goals. You can pave just about as many ways to a certain objective. Granted, some paths have a lighter trail, or a smoother incline, but that doesn’t make the harder paths any more impossible. This is an idealist perspective; of course you won’t think that way when the odds are stacked and the clock is ticking. Bear in mind however, it’s not impossible, and in some cases not even improbable. You’re goals are more possible than you think, which leads to..
14. Come up with more Goals to achieve after “The Goal”
If you work hard, have good timing, a dash of luck and maybe a few moments of incompetence or even brilliance, you might find yourself in the previously unlikely position of success. You’re 28 and all of the sudden you just bagged the dream job. Now what? Some people decline stubbornly after this notion. Though its not of my preoccupation to think so far ahead, it’s not something to rule out: plan ahead. Even for things that aren’t certain, it doesn’t hurt to take an afternoon to consider, what if, just maybe you actually accomplish this. Don’t fall into the realm of having nothing left to live for after you reach a mountain peak that was all within range. Push further, never reach the top, but let the trail do the speaking for your satisfaction. This of course, is far down the list, don’t get stuck in it, you’ve got work to do.
15. Listen to some basic economics: Past history does not determine future performance.
You screw up, you fling about, you’re a dick. You do so many things off and half the time you wish you were miles from such fallacy. You’re not. Get used to this notion. There’s lots of trial and error here to work with. That’s fine though. Each day you have the possible option of not screwing up, not being a fickle bastard and not a dick. These will work out in time if you focus one day at a time on them. You’re not born to be an ass, and you’re not born with such condeming social flaws. These weren’t here during birth, you can change them. Granted it may take some time, and in some cases not as long as you think, but they are adaptable. Just try to consult #18 if people get too pushy about reminding you of your past. What happens has happened and unless you’re a timelord that won’t change. Do the time necessary to get past it and move on. You have an entire life to make up for it if you see it that way. No use in lamenting the unchangeable.
16. Despite all the negative rants, people actually like you.
Why do you think so many criticisms come your way, more rather, why do you think these people stick around if they have such negative things to say? Could it be, perchance, that they actually are raising legit concerns, and are willing to put up with your shit long enough to let you realize that there’s something off? Yes, people usually will take flight with far lesser levels of respect, but friends will put up with incomprehensible levels of bullshit if they really care, and you should take heed when they have something good or bad to say. Both times. Don’t ignore the compliments, and jot down those negatives. They’re your best view into yourself, at least from the outward perspective, and offer the best insight into how the world perceives you. Respect that power.
17. Learn to Learn: accept critics with a detached ego.
One of the hardest issues with learning comes from the acceptance that you haven’t quite reached it yet. There’s a few things amiss, a tad off. This is not a concern you should take personally. These are logical components of the process, simple turns and dips in the road to your perceived goal. When someone doesn’t like your work, that doesn’t mean they don’t like you, no matter how much you’ve reflected yourself in the piece. They are separate entities even if they are your brainchildren. Get used to this notion. Granted sometimes you’ll have a biased opinion that is not helpful or even meant to hurt you, which you should consult #18, sparingly. This however, is only possible until you understand how to learn.
18. Learn how to argue and defend self when it actually matters.
There will be times when you are attacked. Sometimes these attacks are realistic criticisms and genuine suggestions for you to consider your actions. Other times people can be rather vindictive and just simply wish to knock you down a peg or two. There’s a rare occasion when its a good time to actually learn how to properly defend yourself in argument. Good point and counter point, conclusions, addressing and identifying flaws in argumentation. Deconstruct them to the point where they can’t possibly wedge out of it. If they were on unfounded grounds, and they don’t accept this possibility as the flaw in the argument, that’s their issue.
19. Always fight a war of attrition
This focuses on a few things in life, some of them job related. It’s really easy to give up, otherwise you wouldn’t do it so often. This is an issue though, because only trying to do something will bear fruit, and (obviously) doing nothing will result in exactly that. When you need to achieve a certain objective, like in job hunting, you can’t give your all and then just back down when the results don’t fit your aspirations. Either #13, #10, #6, and so on until something works. Prepare for the long fight. Never assume victory until it is secured. Always overestimate your enemy. You’ll have to do this many times in your life, you’ll have to #17 when things get really tough, and sometimes (hopefully rarely) you’ll have to #12 and then #13 to somewhere else. Don’t just quit off the bat though.
20. Live Dammit. Don’t fear uncertainty. Kill the fear.
Go to parks, travel, smell and eat new things, meet new people, talk for hours, have more sex, (it’ll be good for you). Don’t fear unknowns because its the best way of never changing any of these things you so desperately desire to change about yourself. If you cannot fathom an outcome, ask someone who can. Failing this, just go and try it if it does not induce immediate bodily harm (sometimes though, you might just forgo this too!) Whatever you use #17 to learn not to regret it. Realize that #15 is true and that if you screw up royally, accept the reality and move on. This will help you #5 and will be a humbling life lesson for you. After all, you don’t want to #3 all day.